mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
