I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
