when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
