Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
