Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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