I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
