Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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