I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
