tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
