I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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