may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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