so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
