bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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