He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
