i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
