If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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