i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
