I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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