Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
