btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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