his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
