youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
