It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
