I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
