Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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