i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
