he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She even gives head with a lisp.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
