I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
