just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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