I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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