I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
the raccoons are back...
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