ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
