i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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