Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
