when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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