Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
