I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
