you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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