so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
