When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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