I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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