I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I puked a lego.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
