you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
