I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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