Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
