It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
