I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If its not for food we ain't going out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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