bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
