So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
