69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
